Heartbeats: Year 1
by DaniiButNotBeck
Summary: A series of moments in time in the life of Alex Cabot and Olivia Benson told almost completely through dialogue. (Season 2)
1. Ice Princess

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 1

Pairing: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Rating: K+ (maybe T later)

Author's Note: These characters aren't mine. If they were, things would be different, and I wouldn't have to worry about paying for college. They belong to Dick Wolf and NBC. Do I have that right? Anyways, the only things I own are almost a dozen textbooks, a box of old candy canes, and a laptop I got for my birthday.

Author's Note 2: This is a series of moments in time in the lives of Alex Cabot and Olivia Benson told almost completely through dialogue. They follow a basic order (as in first meeting to whenever), but don't really stick to the show. Also, some of the chapters are inspired by songs. I don't own any of those songs or their artists.

Author's Note 3: This is in no way connected to "Home".

* * *

Chapter 1: Ice Princess

"Whataya think of our new ADA?"

"Cabot? I dunno. She seems kinda cold."

"Yeah. They call her the Ice Princess."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Think you could warm that, Benson?"

"Shut up, Elliot."

"Aw, c'mon, Liv. You know I'm just messing with you. Wait. Are you blushing?"

"Do you ever just shut up?"

"Nope. Do you think she's hot?"

"Oh my God, Elliot. I'm not having this conversation with you."

"You don't need to. Your face already did."


	2. Drinks

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 2

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 2: Drinks

"No."

"C'mon, Alex. It's one drink."

"No, Olivia. It's improper."

"It's only one drink!"

"We're colleagues."

"So? Elliot and I are colleagues and we go out for drinks all the time."

"That's different. He's your partner."

"It's not different! C'mon, Alex. It's only one drink. If you happen to wind up at my apartment, well that's just an added bonus."

Alex scoffs. "You're incorrigible."

Olivia smirks. "Is that a yes?" Alex throws a crumpled piece of paper at her head. "That's assaulting a police officer, Counselor."

"Go back to work, Benson."

"So I'll see you tonight around seven?"

"Go!"

"See you at seven!"


	3. Fancy Wine

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 3

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 3: Fancy Wine

"So?"

"So?"

"Are you happy you came out tonight?"

"I am actually. Although, this isn't what I expected when you said we were going out for drinks."

"I may have embellished the truth a little."

"Only a little? This isn't even a bar."

"Okay, so I embellished a lot, but at least it's a nice place. You can even have fancy wine here."

"Fancy wine? Why do you automatically assume I drink wine?"

"You're fancy, upper-class. It's basically in your genetic code to drink wine."

"Well, I'll give you this one, Detective."

"Wait. What? Why?"

"This wine is really good."


	4. Did It For The Girl

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 4

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 4: "Did It for the Girl" – Greg Bates

"Who are you and what have you done with Olivia Benson?"

"What are you talking about, Elliot?"

"You. You're smiling, there's a little more swagger in your walk, you're wearing eyeliner and lipstick, and I'm pretty sure those are new jeans and that's a new leather jacket. Spill."

"Spill what?"

"What's his name?"

"There's no guy, Elliot."

"What's her name?"

"Who?"

"The girl that has you wearing makeup and buying new clothes."

"I always wear makeup and I needed a new pair of jeans. That idiot from last week made me rip my last pair when he decided to jump the fence."

"And the jacket?"

"Decided it was time for a new one."

"Okay. Whatever you say. But tell me something."

"What?"  
"Does Cabot know you're doing all this for her?"

Olivia scoffs.


	5. Just Drinks?

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 5

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 5: Just Drinks?

"How'd your date with Cabot go?"

"It wasn't a date, Elliot. We just had drinks as colleagues."

"As friends."

"It wasn't a date."

"Did you go home after?"

"I'm not having this conversation."

"So you went back to her apartment?"

"I'm not answering that."

"You don't have to. Just tell me something."

"What?"

"Is she as bossy in bed as she is here?"

"Shut up, Elliot."

"So she is."

"Oh my God, Elliot. We didn't have sex! I slept on the couch because I was too drunk to drive home and her apartment was closer to walk to."

"Why didn't you take a cab?"

"That's none of your business."

"Fine, but I'll find out sooner or later."

"Do you even understand how annoying you are?"

"Huh. You're still in a mood. Maybe Cabot isn't really all that great in bed."

"Oh my God, Elliot. Go back to work."


	6. Just One Night

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 6

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 6: Just One Night

"It's just one date, Alex. It's not like I'm asking you to murder someone."

"Olivia, we can't."

"Why not?"

"Think about our careers. If anyone found out, one of us would have to transfer out of SVU."

"_If_ anyone found out. I won't tell if you won't."

"Why are you being so stubborn?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Can't you just answer the question, Detective?"

"No, Counselor, I can't. Can't you just agree to go out?"

"No, Detective, I can't."

"Alex, it's just one night out when I don't have to be a detective and you don't have to be an ADA."

"Why can't you just take no for an answer?"

"Because I know you don't mean it."

"Yes, I do!"

"No, Alex, you don't. Know how I know? We've both been skirting around the obvious attraction here for months. I notice everything, Alex. It's what I'm trained to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"People's Exhibit A, Counselor. Two weeks ago when I first wore those new jeans you picked out."

"You wore the new jacket, too."

"You hardly said two words to me that entire day and you couldn't even look me in the eyes."

"What's your point, Liv?"

"You know I'm right. Go on this date with me."

"Fine, Olivia, okay? Fine. I'll go on this date, but I have one condition."

"Okay. What is it?"

"Absolutely no alcohol. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right."

"That's fine with me. I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon?"

"Fine. What's the dress code?"

"Casual. Think jeans and a t-shirt."

"Fine. See you tomorrow."


	7. Elliot Finds Out

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 7

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 7: Elliot Finds Out

"Benson."

"Liv, it's Elliot. What're you doing?"

"What do you want, Elliot? I'm going out."

"I was gonna invite to a cookout, but seeing as you have plans…"

"Right. Thanks for the invite, but I have plans."

"With Cabot?"

"Yeah. I mean, wait. What?"

"So Cabot said yes?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you asked her out."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. You're not a very good liar."

"Whatever, Elliot. I've gotta go."

"Okay. Have fun with Alex, but not too much fun."

"Shut up, Stabler. Go pay attention to your family."

"Fine. Bye."


	8. The First Date

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 8

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 8: The First Date

"A picnic in Central Park? That's not cliché at all."

"You don't like it?"

"No, I love it. You really know how to woo a woman, Olivia Benson."

"Wait until you see what I have planned for tonight."

"Tonight?"

"You didn't think I was just gonna have lunch with you, did you?"

"How was I to know you had more than this planned? I'm not a mind reader, Olivia."

"Are you sure about that, Alex? The way you know exactly what I'm going to say or do before I do it is a little creepy."

"That's at work. It's a completely different situation."

"How?"

"I don't know Olivia very well, but I know Detective Benson very well. Does that answer your question?"

"I suppose. Can we eat now? I'm starving."


	9. Incorrigible

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 9

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 9: Incorrigible

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me, Alex, and keep your eyes covered."

"I can't see, Olivia."

"That's the point."

"Are we near water?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I already told you that it's a surprise. Will you please stop asking questions?"

"No. What time is it?"

"C'mon, Alex. You're gonna ruin the surprise!"

"I wouldn't need to ask questions if you'd just tell me why we're here!"

"I'm ignoring you now."

"Olivia?"

"What?"

"I thought you were ignoring me?"

"Don't sound so smug, Counselor. I'm only responding because I don't want to hear you complain when I don't."

"I wouldn't complain!"

"Yes, Alex, you would. In fact, I'm pretty sure you've yelled at me for not answering you fast enough."

"I was having a bad day."

"Whatever. We're almost there."

"Where is 'there' exactly?"

"You'll see."

"Have I ever told you that you're incorrigible?"

"Only about a million times."

"Then you won't mind if I tell you again?"

"Not at all."

"You're incorrigible, Olivia Benson."

"Thank you, Counselor."

"My pleasure."


	10. The Right to Remain Silen

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 10

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 10: The Right to Remain Silent

"Can I uncover my eyes yet?"

"Alex!"

"Liv, I've had my eyes closed for eight minutes now. The suspense is killing me. Just let me open my eyes."

"Eight minutes? Have you been counting?"

"I have the right to remain silent."

"You couldn't have exercised that right ten minutes ago?"

"You're the one that insisted I go out with you."

"I didn't think you were this talkative."

"I'm not offended by that."

"You shouldn't be."

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"If you keep asking, I'm going to bring you back to the car and I'll come out here by myself."

"You can't see it, but I'm rolling my eyes."

"Calm down, Lex, we'll be there soon."

"Did you just call me 'Lex'?"

"Yeah. Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay."


	11. This Is So Romantic

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 11

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 11: This Is So Romantic

"Okay. Open your eyes!"

"Liv, it's…"

"Have I rendered Alexandra Cabot, linguistic Assistant District Attorney, speechless?"

"Real mature, Benson. But yes, you have. It's amazing, Olivia."

"I found the cave when I was a teenager. I used to come out to the beach to think. When I found the cave, I thought all my prayers had been answered. It's the perfect place to relax. Sometimes I come here after a tough case and I watch the sun set or I fall asleep. I can't count the number of nights I've stayed here all night."

"Does anyone else know about it?"

"Probably, but in the fourteen years I've been coming here, I've never seen another person."

"You didn't bring me here to kill me, did you? They'll know it was you, Olivia."

"Really, Alex? No, I brought you here because I wanted to show you this. Climb up here with me."

"Are you serious?"

"Completely. Take my hand and I'll pull you up."

"Fine."

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No. Did you just turn a lantern on?"

"Yeah."

"Liv, how'd you get this set up?"

"I have my ways."

"Can you be serious for five minutes?"

"Okay. While you took over an hour to get ready, I brought everything here and set it up. It wasn't difficult. I only had trouble deciding where to put the blanket."

"Blanket?"

"Blanket. We have the day off tomorrow, so we're staying out here tonight."

"Why?"

"You have to see the sunrise from the beach."

"And seeing that entails sleeping on rock?"

"You'd miss it if you didn't sleep out here. C'mon, Alex. Live a little!"

"I live plenty!"

"Really? What do you do that counts as living?"

"I agreed to go out with you, didn't I?"

"That's not funny, Alex."

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because it was funny."


	12. Sunrise on the Beach

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 12

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews! I realize twelve chapters in two days is a lot, but I was on a writing spree and I figured I'd just upload them as I went so I wouldn't forget. As for the reviews, they keep me going! You guys are the best.

* * *

Chapter 12: Sunrise on the Beach

"Alex, c'mon, wake up. We're gonna miss it!"

"No, Liv, leave me alone."

"Are you always this impossible to wake up?"

"Go away."

"Did you just try to smack me?"

"Do you ever just go away?"

"No. Now get up. We're gonna miss the sunrise."

"No. Cold."

"Alexandra Cabot, I _will _pull the blankets off you."

"I'll have you arrested."

"For what?"

"Assault or something. Leave me alone."

"Fine. I'll just carry you out there."

"Olivia Benson, you put me down right now!"

"No. I told you we're gonna watch the sun rise. You can go back to sleep after."

"At home?"

"In the car."

"Are you holding me hostage, Olivia Benson?"

"No, I'm whisking you away until Monday night."

"But I have to work Monday."

"I called your assistant last night and had her clear your empty schedule."

"It wasn't empty! I had meetings tomorrow."

"Not anymore. They were more than happy to reschedule. Apparently, you scare them a little."

"Good."

"Now watch the sunrise. You don't want to miss this."


	13. Better Than the Sunrise

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 13

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 13: Better Than the Sunrise

"What'd you think of it?"

"Of what?"

"The sunrise."

"Oh. It was nice."

"Nice? C'mon, Alex! It was amazing!"

"Something better was sitting next to me."

"What?"

"Nothing. Where are we going?"

"To your apartment. You need to shower and change your clothes."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Where are you going to shower?"

"My apartment."

"Why waste the gas? I have two showers. Use my second one."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."


	14. It Doesn't Change Anything

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 14

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: Warning: Mention of rape.

* * *

Chapter 14: It Doesn't Change Anything

"Holy sh-"

"Liv!"

"Sorry. This is an apartment?"

"It's a penthouse. A gift from my parents when I graduated from law school and moved here."

"A gift?"

"Yes. My parents are the Boston Cabots."

"That explains a lot actually. I mean, I knew you were rich, but I didn't know you were _this_ rich."

"Does knowing change anything?"

"Should it?"

"No, but it has before."

"It doesn't change anything, Lex."

"You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, Alex."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you ever talk about your family?"

"There's not much to talk about."

"Why not?"

"Trust me when I tell you if you knew my background, you wouldn't want to be around me. It's dark, Alex."

"Olivia Benson, you look at me right now. _Nothing_ you tell me will make me abandon you. You are an amazing and compassionate person. Even if your background is dark, that doesn't change who you are today."

"Do you really want to know?"

"Only if you want to tell me."

"I do. I want to get this out in the open so you can decide if it's worth pursuing this relationship."

"Only if you're sure."

"I am. Okay. My mother was a drunk. She fell down a flight of stairs and died last year. My father…my father was a rapist. He raped my mother and got her pregnant with me."

"Oh my…Olivia, I'm so sor-"

"I don't want your sympathy, Alex. I'm over it. Go take your shower. We have plans for today."

"Okay. The other bathroom is down the hall, last door on the left. And Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"It doesn't change anything."


	15. She sings in the shower?

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 15

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I took a lot of liberty in the timing of this chapter. This story generally takes place around season 2 or 3, the song Olivia is singing came out in 2012 (I think). The song is called "Did It For The Girl" by Greg Bates. Lyrics are in italics and quotation marks.

* * *

Chapter 15: She Sings In The Shower?

"_I did it for that long hair fallin' down, layin' on her shoulders. Those blue eyes want me to hold her. I did it for the girl dancin' in the sunset. To get to see her sippin' on Corona little silhouette. I did it for the moonlight, slow ride, slidin' over by my side. Been waiting on that all night kiss. I did it for the girl dancin' on the front porch, reachin' out to grab my shirt and pull me through the front door. I did it for the midnight, candlelight, anything to make her mine, all mine._"

"That sounds strangely appropriate."

"Oh my God, Alex! You scared the hell outta me. What are you doing in here?"

"I realized I didn't have any towels in here so I brought you a couple. Then I stuck around to listen to you sing."

"Did you already shower?"

"No."

"C'mon, Alex! We're gonna be late."

"Relax, Liv. I'll be quick."

"Sure. Will you just hand me one of those towels? I'd like to get out. And don't look at me."

"I'm not."

"I can see you looking, Alex."

"I can't help it that you have beautiful shoulders, Liv."

"Alex!"

"Oh, don't give me that look, Olivia."

"What look?"

"That disapproving yet vaguely amused look. It's the same look you give me when I've been yelling at defense attorneys for 'no apparent reason,' to use your words."

"I actually only give you that look when you're yelling at Langan. He may be an idiot, but he's not a scumbag like most of the other defense attorneys."

"Maybe I just like when you give me that look."

"Maybe I like giving you that look."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You're not wearing any clothes."

"I'm wearing a towel."

"I'm gonna…go that way. Like you said, we have plans. Wouldn't want to be late. Get dressed, Benson, and stop laughing."

"Right away, Counselor."


	16. Shoulders

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 16

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 16: Shoulders

"Don't quit your day job, Cabot."

"Olivia! What are you doing in here?"

"You have beautiful shoulders, Alex."

"Thank you, but that doesn't answer my question."

"And you have a nice butt."

"Out!"

"Ow! Hey! Did you just throw your soapy loofah thing at me?"

"Wipe the drool off your chin, Detective, and get out of my bathroom."

"We have to leave in twenty minutes or we're going to be late."

"Out!"

"Okay. I'm going. Ow! What the f-"

"Liv! Did you just walk into the door?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, though. Leaving."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You never answered my question."

"What question?"

"What were you doing in here?"

"Evening the score."  
"What score?"

"You saw me in the shower and made me feel awkward. Now I've seen you in the shower and made you feel awkward. We're even now."

"I suppose you're right. Now, get out so I can get dressed."

"Yes, ma'am."


	17. Skipping Several Dates

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 17

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 17: Skipping Several Dates

"One bed, Olivia? Do you think that's wise?"

"Probably not, but that's all this place has."

"This isn't first date behavior, Liv."

"What isn't?"

"All of this! The picnic lunch in Central Park, sleeping on the beach, watching the sunrise, walking in on each other in the shower, and now sharing a bed at this little bed and breakfast in the middle of nowhere."

"We're not in the middle of nowhere. We're actually in Lowville."

"You know what I mean, Liv."

"And I was going to take the couch."

"Why?"

"I don't want to move too fast with you, Alex. You're different."

"Different?"

"Special."

"Sleep in the bed, Liv."

"Why?"

"You're special."

"Special?"

"Different."

"Using my own words against me, Counselor?"

"Not against you, Detective. For you."

"So are we sharing the bed or am I sleeping on the couch?"

"We're sharing."

"Now that that's settled, go get into something really warm. We have plans for this afternoon."

"You've only said that about a million times, Liv, but you still haven't told me what those plans are."

"Ice skating."

"Ice skating? I don't know how to ice skate."

"Me neither. I have a friend who teaches little kids. He owes me a favor and he said he'll teach us this afternoon. The lesson starts at four."

"You're serious?"

"Completely."

"Okay. Let's do this."


	18. Ulterior Motive

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 18

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 18: Ulterior Motive

"Did you have fun?"

"Thank you, Olivia."

"For what?"

"For everything – convincing me to go out with you, getting me to sleep in a cave with you, waking me up to watch the sunrise, bringing me up here to Lowville to sleep in a little bed and breakfast, and for getting you friend to teach us how to ice skate. This is by far the best weekend I've had in a long time."

"Oh yeah? What's been your favorite part?"

"Watching you learn to ice skate. It's like you have no grace at all."

"Don't laugh at my clumsiness just because you're a natural, Counselor."

"I'm far from a natural, Detective. I'm just more graceful than you."

"'More graceful.' Whatever, Lex. I'm starving. Whataya say we grab some food then head back to the room and catch a movie?"

"Doesn't sound like I have much of a choice."

"Not really. I wasn't offering you a deal."

"Maybe I should just take my chances in court then."

"I don't think that'd be wise, Counselor."

"Why not?"

"You don't know this town."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"Growing up, I spent a lot of time up here with my mother's parents."

"You're fidgeting, Liv. Why?"

"I have an ulterior motive for bringing you up here, Alex."

"You're not going to kill me, are you? They'll know it was you, Benson."

"You've mentioned that twice, Alex. Are you actually afraid I'm going to kill you?"

"Not at all, Liv. I trust you with my life."

"I'd hope so. I _am_ a cop."

"What's your ulterior motive?"

"Tomorrow's the one year anniversary of my mom's death. She's buried in the family plot. Will you go with me? I just don't think I want to be alone."

"You don't have to be alone, Liv. I'll go with you."

"Thank you, Lex."


	19. Strange Dreams

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 19

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter relates to something that's actually happened to me. I have a cousin that talks in her sleep. We've had entire conversations. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 19: Strange Dreams

"The People request remand, Your Honor."

"What?"

"Your Honor, the defendant has shown a blatant disregard for human life and he is a considerable flight risk having escaped police custody and injured an officer twice already."

"She talks in her sleep?"

"I'm not offering a deal, Trevor. Your client's a serial rapist and a murderer."

"Trevor?"

"Liv, no. We can't do that _here_. Are you insane?"

"What?"

"I'm serious, Olivia. No. Not here. What are you…? Put that back on!"

"Huh?"

"Glasses of Justice? Is that really what you call them?"

"Glasses of Justice?"

"Fine, but you have to wait until tonight. I'm not doing that here."

"You have some strange dreams, Alex Cabot."


	20. You talk in your sleep, Counselor

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 20

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 20: You talk in your sleep, Counselor

"Mornin', Alex! How'd you sleep?"

"Why are you such a morning person, Liv?"

"Because I get to see you every day."

"Are you serious?"

"No, not really."

"Rude."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you're absolutely adorable first thing in the morning? Your hair's tousled, sleep still in your eyes; you're really cute, Alex."

"There's something you're not telling me, Olivia Benson. Spit it out."

"Al-"

"Spit it out, Olivia."

"You talk in your sleep, Alex."

"What?"

"You-"

"No, I heard you. What did I say?"

"Um…"

"What did I say, Liv?"

"Something about remand, a serial rapist, an injured cop, and you weren't offering Langan's client a deal."

"You're fidgeting again, Liv. What else did I say?"

"Something about not doing 'that' somewhere. You asked me if I'm insane, which I'm not, and I'm assuming I took off some article of clothing. Also, I referred to your glasses as the 'Glasses of Justice' and you're making me wait until tonight for something."

"You're serious?"

"Unfortunately."

"This is completely embarrassing. I've never talked in my sleep before."

"Don't be embarrassed, Alex. It's cute."

"It's not cute, Liv. It's mortifying."

"Do you dream about me often, Counselor?"

"Oh, grow up, Benson."

"I guess that means you do."


	21. December 10, 2001

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 21

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 21: December 10, 2001

"Thanks for coming with me, Alex. I don't think I could do this on my own."

"Have you visited her since the funeral?"

"I can't bring myself to."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Every time I think about coming up here, something holds me back."

"You need closure, Liv. Have you cried yet?"

"No."

"Not at all?"

"Not at all."

"You need to."

"It's been a year, Alex. How am I supposed to cry now?"

"You'll figure it out, and I'll be right there holding your hand if you want me to."

"I want you there, Alex."


	22. Disaster Hearts

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 22

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter is based on "Disaster Hearts" by I Fight Dragons and "Sober" by Pink.

Author's Note 3: Alex and Olivia are really out of character in this chapter. I don't really know what happened. I'll get them back to where they should be in the next chapter. I apologize for that. Feedback for this chapter would be greatly appreciated. Thanks. -Danii

* * *

Chapter 22: Disaster Hearts

"Do you want me to stay?"

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all. I'll stay as long as you want me to."

"What am I supposed to say?"

"Take your time, Liv. It'll come to you."

"I can't do this, Alex."

"Because I'm here? I can go."

"No, Alex, stop. What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving you to talk to your mom. You need this, Liv."

"Where do we stand, Alex?"

"What?"

"You and I – where do we stand? Are we gonna do this or are we gonna go back to work tomorrow and pretend this weekend never happened? I need to know now because I don't think I can pretend this never happened."

"It's not that simple, Liv."

"It is that simple. Do you want to be with me?"

"Liv-"

"Alex, do you want to be with me?"

"Yes."

"Then be with me. It's simple."

"No, Olivia, it's not. You and I have careers, aspirations. We'd have to disclose, one of us may have to transfer out."

"Alex, stop worrying so much. We don't have to tell anyone until we're sure it's going to work out."

"But what if it doesn't work out? What happens to the friendship we've built up?"

"I can't tell you what time is going to bring, Lex, but I can tell you that, no matter what happens, I'm going to fight for you. I'm not giving up on this."

"Liv-"

"C'mon, Alex. You said you know how to live. Just give me a shot."

"Will you just listen for a second, Olivia?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"I want to give this a shot, Liv, but I want to take it slow."

"Okay! I'm okay with that."

"If, and only if, you try to get some closure with your mom."

"But Alex, she's dead. How am I supposed to get closure now?"

"Talk to her. Tell her how well you're doing. Don't roll your eyes at me, Liv."

"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll go talk to her, but I don't know if she can hear me."

"Just go."

"Fine. Okay. Hi, Mom. It's me – Olivia. I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I'm here trying to talk to you. Alex is here too. She's my…well, I guess she's my girlfriend. She's really amazing, Mom. I think you would've liked her. She's smart and pretty. Honestly, she's too good for me, but I have her anyways. You'd be proud of me, Mom. I'm doing really well. Um…just take care. I love you. Can we go now, Alex?"

"Are you done?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Alex, I'm sure. Can we just go now? Please?"

"Okay, we can go."

"Thank you, Alex."

"For what?"

"Making me talk to her. You were right when you said that's what I needed."

"Did you just say I was right?"

"Don't get used to it, Cabot."

"How are you feeling?"

"Relieved, selfish, evil."

"Evil? Why do you feel evil?"

"I can't help but think that a good thing came out of her death."

"What good thing?"

"You. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years cleaning up after her, taking care of her, making sure she didn't die in her sleep. When she died, I didn't have to worry about any of that anymore. I know that sounds selfish and horrible, but it's the truth, Alex. And then I met you and I could feel again. I spent so long hiding emotions so they couldn't be used against me during one of her drunken fits. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Alex."

"I don't even know what to say, Liv. I won't pretend I know what you went through as a child, but I do understand. You're so strong, Olivia, in so many ways. You're such a good person. I can't even begin to describe how much you mean to me."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"It's rude not to."

"Just shut up and kiss me, Liv."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

Jeez that kiss took a long time to get to. Like I said at the beginning (of this chapter), I realize I made them a little (a lot) out of character. I'm not going to pretend i did that on purpose. I didn't. Feedback would be greatly appreciated (and you get a virtual cookie).


	23. Tuesday Morning

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 23

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: Bonus cookies for: Novak123, guardianrock, bkwrmchar, Joei Cassidy, rohoatl, and peterpeter because they're awesome. That is all. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 23: Tuesday Morning

"Mornin', Partner!"

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You're happy. Why?"

"Had a good weekend."

"How much of it was spent with Cabot?"

"How do you know any of it was spent with her?"

"I'm your partner, Liv. I know you. So how much of your weekend was spent with her?"

"Enough."

"Did you go visit your mom's grave yesterday?"

"You know I did, Elliot."

"Did Cabot go with you?"

"Why are you so obsessed with this?"

"Why can't you just answer the question?"

"You first."

"_You_ first."

"Liv, Elliot, I hate to break up this stare down, but you two have a case. This is the address. Get going."

"On it, Cap. Let's go, Stabler. I'm driving."

"Why are you driving? I have the keys."

"Not anymore. Let's go."


	24. Christmas Eve

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 24

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 24: Christmas Eve

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"What'd you get Kathy for Christmas?"

"A necklace. Why?"

"Just wondering."

"No, you're not. You haven't gotten Alex a Christmas present yet, have you?"

"What do you get for a woman who has everything she wants?"

"I dunno, Liv. Why don't you just ask her what she wants?"

"Because then she'll know I haven't gotten her anything."

"When are you seeing her?"

"Tonight. We're having dinner before she gets on a plane headed to Boston."

"Why isn't she taking the train?"

"Because she's Alex Cabot."

"What time's her flight?"

"Ten. We're having dinner at some fancy restaurant at six. I'm supposed to wear a dress."

"Sucks to be you."

"Shut up, Elliot. Help me think of something to get her."

"Sorry, Liv, can't help ya."

"Why not?"

"You told me to shut up."

"Ass. Are you cutting out early?"

"Yeah. Kathy needs me to pick up a couple more things for the twins before the stores close. You?"

"Probably should. Gotta find a gift for Alex before six."

"You wanna tell Cap or should I?"

"It's your turn. And you owe me."

"For what?"

"Being completely unhelpful."

"Whatever, Benson. Go find your woman a gift."

"See you in a couple days."

"Yep. See ya."

"Merry Christmas, Elliot."

"Merry Christmas, Liv. Hey, wait. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Probably gonna come in with Munch and Cragen. Why?"

"Come to dinner. Kathy won't mind."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Be there by two."

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow. Good luck finding a gift for Alex."

"Thanks. I'm gonna need it."

* * *

So what do you think Olivia should get Alex for Christmas? I literally have zero ideas. Suggestions totally appreciated. :)


	25. What are you doing?

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 25

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter marks the half-way point for this story. To all my readers, thanks for sticking with me this far. I can only hope that you'll stay with me through the next 25 (or is it 24) chapters. And I already have a sequel planned (it's not really planned).

* * *

Chapter 25: What are you doing?

"Alex, wha- Wait. Have you been crying? Alex, what's wrong? Why aren't you dressed for dinner?"

"Will you just come in?"

"Only if you tell me what's wrong."

"Fine. Just come in the apartment."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thanks. I want to know why you've been crying."

"Are you sure you don't want anything to drink? I made coffee."

"How many cups have you had?"

"Do you want one?"

"If I say yes, will you sit down and talk to me?"

"I also have tea, hot chocolate, soda, water, milk-"

"Alex!"

"What?"

"Sit down and talk to me."

"About what?"

"Alex."

"Liv, no. I don't want to talk about that. Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"You know exactly what look!"

"Can you just tell me what look, Alex? I don't want to play this game tonight."

"It's the same look – well, it's not really a look, it's more like a glare – that you give the perps you interrogate when they aren't giving you the answers you want."

"It obviously didn't work because you're still not giving me answers."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Then go get dressed so we can go to dinner."

"Do we have to? Can't we just order Chinese and stay here?"

"Is that what you want to do?"

"No, but I don't want to go out either."

"What's wrong, Alex? Talk to me."

"I'm not going to my parents' for Christmas."

"What? Why not?"

"They found out about us and they don't accept it."

"How?"

"I don't know, Liv, but my mother called me today and told me not to bother showing up. Apparently I'm a 'disgrace to the Cabot name,' an 'embarrassment to the DA's office,' and I'll never succeed."

"Alex, honey, if they don't accept that you're a lesbian-"

"No, Liv, you don't understand. Appearances are everything. They don't care that I'm a lesbian so long as no one else knows. Once it gets out, it's a problem."

"What can I do, Alex?"

"There's nothing to do but wait and see what happens."

"Are you sure, Alex? Because I don't want to stand in the way of your political aspirations."

"Olivia, listen to me. You are not standing in the way of anything. You know me well enough to know I would tell you if you were. So stop worrying, shut up, and kiss me."

But Alex-"

"Shut up and kiss me, Liv."

"Spend Christmas with me."

"What?"

"You shouldn't spend it alone. You can spend the day with me. I don't really have anywhere else to be."

"Aren't you going over to Elliot's house?"

"I was going to, but I don't want you to be alone. And I'd much rather spend the day with you eating pancakes in the morning, watching classic Christmas movies all day, and having a nice Christmas ham for dinner."

"Do you even have a 'nice Christmas ham'?"

"I'll buy one."

"How? It's after seven and all the stores are closed."

"We'll have something delivered then. Just spend Christmas with me."

"If I say yes, will you stop looking at me with those puppy-like eyes?"

"Maybe, but probably not. Ow! Hey! That's assaulting a police officer, Counselor. I could arrest you."

"But you won't."

"Correct. Why'd you punch me though?"

"Payback."

"Payback? Payback for what?"

"Inappropriately touching me in my office."

"What?"

"You smacked my butt, Liv!"

"I did not!"

"Don't you lie to me, Olivia Benson."

"It's not my fault you have a nice butt, Alex."

"You're-"

"Incorrigible. I know, Alex. Will you spend Christmas with me?"

"Will you let me choose what we have for dinner?"

"Will it be something we both like?"

"Yes."

"I guess I can let you choose then."

"I guess I can spend Christmas with you then."

"Your place or mine?"

"Yours."

"Why mine?"

"Because I've only been to your apartment once and you hardly let me in the door."

"It was a mess and I was only grabbing my jacket. Are you sure you want to spend Christmas at my apartment?"

"Yes."

"Alex?"

"Yes?"

"Will you spend the night with me tonight?"

"At your apartment?"

"Yes."

"Of course I will, Liv."


	26. Christmas Eve at Liv's Apartment

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 26

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter will probably be the last chapter until the 26th. I have finals all week that'll take up most of my time. Hooray! for lack of sleep and obsessive studying. Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 26: Christmas Eve at Liv's Apartment

"Here we are. Home sweet home."

"Do I get the grand tour?"

"Do you really need one?"

"C'mon, Liv. I gave you a tour of my apartment."

"Your apartment is the size of a house!"

"Don't be so dramatic."

"Stop giving me that look."

"What look?"

"C'mon, Alex. You know exactly what look. You're doing it right now!"

"I am not!"

"You're pouting. Do you really think it makes you look innocent?"

"I wouldn't have to use it if you'd just do what I asked."

"You're not getting a tour of my apartment."

"Why not?"

"You can see everything from the doorway."

"Really?"

"Yeah. To the right is the bathroom, to the left is the kitchen, my bedroom door—Why are you smirking? Damn it, Alex! How'd you get me to do that?"

"Do what?"

"You knew I didn't want to give you a tour, but somehow you got me to do it anyway."

"I always get what I want, Detective. You should know that by now."

"Oh yeah? Hey! No. Alex, what're you—Get your hands out from underneath my shirt, Alex."

"But-"

"It was your idea to take things slow. Remember?"

"You have an impeccable memory."

"Not gonna happen, Cabot."

"C'mon, Liv. We can go back to taking it slow in the morning."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"What?"

"What do you want for dinner?"

"You."

"I'm serious, Alex."

"So am I!"

"Alex."

"Olivia."

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I believe I already answered that question."

"Not with a serious answer."

"I was being serious."

"I'm starving, Alex. Can you please just pick something?"

"The Chinese place down the street. Happy?"

"Extremely. Stop touching me so I can order."

"Bossy."

"Distracting."

"Did you just stick your tongue out at me?"

"Maybe."

"Incorrigible."

* * *

Author's Note: I wasn't really sure how to end this one. The next one'll be better. I swear.


	27. Dinner

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 27

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I know I said I wasn't going to have any more chapters until Finals were over, but I was up late studying last night and three more were written. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 27: Dinner

"Alex."

"What?"

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop staring at me. You're distracting me from my food."

"I wasn't staring."

"Really? What do you call it then?"

"I was simply admiring your face."

"You were staring."

"I was not!"

"Alex, why can't you just admit you were staring?"

"Because that would be a lie."

"You were."

"I'm not arguing with you. Eat your dinner."

"Why not? You live to argue."

"Because there are better things I could be doing with my mouth."

"Alex?"

"What?"

"Remember that thing I said about taking it slow?"

"Yes."

"Can we pretend that never happened?"

"No."

"Why not? You were ready to forget about it half an hour ago."

"Because, Liv, you can't always get what you want."

"You're-"

"Incorrigible?"

"No. Evil."


	28. Christmas Morning

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 28

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 28: Christmas Morning

"Alex. Alex, wake up."

"No. Go away."

"C'mon, Alex. It's Christmas!"

"It's morning."

"Yeah. Christmas morning! C'mon, get up!"

"Do you hate me?"

"No. Why?"

"Stop being a morning person."

"C'mon, Alex. I already started breakfast."

"What're we having?"

"Pancakes."

"That's it?"

"That's all I have."

"You need to go food shopping."

"This weekend. You're coming with me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know what you like to eat. Stop laughing."

"You started it."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"I thought you were tired."

"I am, but you mentioned food. Now I'm hungry."

"Then get up and we can have pancakes."

"Bossy."

"C'mon, Alex."

"I don't want to. Your bed's comfortable, and it smells like you."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'll get up in a couple minutes."

"Actually, I'll bring breakfast to you. It's been a long time since I had breakfast in bed and that couch is really uncomfortable."

"Sounds good."

"Okay. Be right back."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Alex."

* * *

Author's Note: The next chapter (Chapter 29) is the one we've all (I've) been waiting for! Alex's Christmas gift is finally unveiled! I'd love it if you left your predictions for me. hint hint :)


	29. Gifts

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 29

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: The moment we've all been waiting for! Let's see what Olivia got Alex for Christmas! Enjoy!

Author's Note 3: Thank you all so very much for all the reviews! You have no idea how much they mean to me.

* * *

Chapter 29: Gifts

"I got you a little something, Liv."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"Open the box."

"An iPod? You got me an iPod?"

"Yeah. Do you like it?"

"I love it. Thank you so much. I got you something too. Close your eyes and give me your hand."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay. Open your eyes."

"It's beautiful, Olivia."

"Alex, I know it's too soon to be thinking about getting married, but I want you to know I'm in this for the long haul. This ring signifies every promise I've ever made to you and every promise I will make to you in the future. I love you, Alexandra Cabot, and I promise to spend my whole life proving that to you. No, Alex, don't cry."

"I love you, Olivia Benson."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"This is the best Christmas I've ever had, Liv, even though I didn't get to see my parents."

"We can go see them if you want to. We both have enough vacation days."

"No. They can come see me when they're ready."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"I love you, Lex."

"I love you too, Liv."

* * *

Author's Note: What'd you think of the gift Liv finally chose for Alex? Thank you all so very much for your suggestions and guesses. You rock!


	30. Should I call you Mrs Cabot?

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 30

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 30: Should I call you Mrs. Cabot?

"Hey, Liv."

"Hey, El. How was your Christmas?"

"It was great. Kathy liked her necklace and the kids loved their gifts. I got a few new ties."

"Is that one of them?"

"Yeah."

"It's nice. I like it."

"How was your Christmas?"

"It was great."

"How was Cabot?"

"I'm not answering that."

"C'mon, Liv. Is she bossy like she is here?"

"You want the truth?"

"Yeah."

"Being with Alex is the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. She's tender, passionate, attentive-"

"Stop."

"Too mushy for you?"

"I don't want the image in my head."

"It's quite the image."

"What'd she get you for Christmas?"

"An iPod filled with my favorite songs and some of her favorites."

"Romantic."

"Yeah. I love her."

"Her?"

"It. I love it. Wipe that smug grin off your face, Stabler."

"Your secret's safe with me, Benson. Or should I call you Mrs. Cabot?"

"Shut up, Elliot."

"What? I think you'll be a wonderful housewife. You can take care of all the mini-prosecutors and mini-detectives you'll have running around. It'll be good for you."

"Don't you have paperwork to do?"

"It's just a matter of time now, Liv. Just do us all a favor, okay?"

"What?"

"Disclose before you two screw up our cases."


	31. What's that?

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 31

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 31: What's that?

"Alex?"

"Elliot? Come in."

"I'm just her to pick up the warrant. Liv said you have it for us."

"I do. It's somewhere in this mountain of paperwork."

"What's on your hand, Alex?"

"What? Oh. Nothing."

"How'd she do it?"

"How'd who do what?"

"How did Liv propose to you?"

"She didn't."

"That ring on your hand says otherwise."

"She didn't propose, Elliot. It was a Christmas gift."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Elliot, I'm sure. If you don't believe me, you can ask her yourself."

"I believe you."

"Good. Now go execute that warrant and bring me back evidence I can actually use. And tell your partner she owes me a phone call."

"Will do. Thanks, Alex."


	32. Why didn't you tell me?

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 32

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: A second chapter today because I finished my exams tonight. Now I have nine days off before Fall Semester starts.

* * *

Chapter 32: Why didn't you tell me?

"When were you going to tell me you proposed to Alex?

"What?"

"I saw the ring on Cabot's hand. I'm your partner, Liv. Why didn't you tell me you proposed to her?"

"Because I didn't."

"Then tell me about this ring."

"It's just a ring."

"You're lying."

"What do you want me to tell you, Elliot?"

"The truth would be nice."

"The truth? Okay. The truth is I'm head over heels in love with Alex Cabot. She's the best thing to ever happen to me. The ring? It's a promise. It's too early in our relationship to even think about marriage, so I gave her the ring to promise her a future."

"How're you feeling?"

"Pissed, but relieved."

"I'm going to regret questioning you, aren't I?"

"You can count on that."

"I look forward to it. And, for the record, I'm happy you found someone to settle down with. I always knew there'd be someone to tame the wild Olivia Benson."

"Shut up, Elliot."

"Yes, ma'am."


	33. Emergency Contact

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 33

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I know this chapter is really short. Please don't hate me. Also, it would've been posted hours ago, but I need to keep some semblance of a social or I'll go insane. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 33: Emergency Contact

"Cabot."

"Alex, it's Elliot. Where are you?"

"My office. Why?"

"You need to get down to Mercy."

"Why?"

"Didn't anyone tell you?"

"No. What's happened?"

"Olivia's been shot."

"What? No. How?"

"I'll tell you when you get down here."

"Why wasn't I called?"

"I don't know. She changed her emergency contact to you before Christmas. You should've been called."

"I'm on my way. What room is she in?"

"The operating room. Flash your ADA badge at the ER nurse when you get here and they'll bring you right back."

"Okay. I'll be there soon. And Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for calling me. I know we have our issues."

"You and I both care about Liv. You can make her happy in ways that I can't and she's in love with you, so not calling you is out of the question."

"Thank you."

"Just get here quickly, okay Cabot?"

"As fast as the law allows, Stabler."


	34. She went in guns blazing

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 34

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 34: She went in guns blazing

"How did this happen?!"

"I-"

"How'd it happen?"

"Alex! Calm down and I'll tell you."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down, Elliot Stabler. Don't you **dare**."

"Alex, Cragen's here. Do you really want your relationship coming out like this?"

"No."

"Then sit down, drink this coffee and stop screaming at me."

"Fine. How'd this happen?"

"Everything started normally. After we left your office, Liv drove to the guy's apartment. Normally, we'd wait for a couple of the forensics guys to get there, but Liv had one of her gut feelings and ran up ahead of everyone else. His apartment door looked like it had been kicked open. We followed protocol to the tee, Alex. She went in first. I followed close behind. We systematically cleared all but one of the rooms. She got shot in that last room."

"How?"

"He had set up a barricade and hid behind it. When Liv reached the corner, he opened fire. She was hit twice. I heard the shots, knew my partner was in trouble, and took him out as quick as I could."

"Where was she shot?"

"Right side, underneath her collar bone and her upper left thigh."

"I want to talk to her surgeon."

"Cragen's in with one of them now."

"She needed more than one?"

"One of them's the actual surgeon, the other is the person that talks to the families."

"I want to talk to him."

"Maybe you should talk to Cragen first."

"Why?"

"He doesn't know you're here."

"Why not?"

"He's been in with the doctor since before I called you. I didn't have time to tell him."

"Damn it, Elliot! What am I supposed to tell him?"

"The truth?"

"I suppose I'll have to."

"Now's your chance. I'm gonna go get more coffee."


	35. Cragen

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 35

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I realize this is a really short chapter. Fortunately, enough happens to make it okay. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 35: Cragen

"Alex."

"Don. A word?"

"Sure. What's on your mind, Alex?"

"How's Liv?"

"She's pulling through. We'll be able to see her after they move her to the ICU."

"Is she critical?"

"She's fine. They just want to be careful. What else is on your mind, Alex?"

"Olivia and I are involved."

"Involved? From what I hear, we should be expecting wedding invitations soon."

"You already knew? Why didn't you say anything?"

"Your relationship wasn't affecting your work. I was happy to leave it alone. You still have to tell Donnelly, though."

"When?"

"By the time Liv's healed and back on active duty."

"How long will that be?"

"I don't know, Alex. It could be anywhere from four weeks to a few months. I suggest you tell Donnelly by February first."

"Okay. Thanks, Don. I appreciate it."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"When you go up to see Liv, don't mention this conversation to her. It's her responsibility to tell me, not yours."

"Okay. Thanks again, Don."

"Take care of her, Alex. She's one of the good ones."

"I will."

* * *

Author's Note: Some of my medical information may (will probably) be wrong. I don't know much about medicine/healing times/medical anything. That's why I have friends and you lovely readers. Let me know if I messed anything up.


	36. Must be the Painkillers

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 36

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 36: Must be the Painkillers

"Alex!"

"You're awfully happy."

"I was shot today, Alex."

"I know."

"Who told you?"

"You just did."

"That's not funny. Who told you before I did?"

"Elliot."

"You're awfully pretty, Alex."

"You're not too bad yourself, Liv."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Not right now."

"Please? I promise not to tell anyone."

"How do your wounds feel?"

"Fine. Now can I kiss you?"

"You'll be able to go home tomorrow afternoon if everything goes well tonight."

"I want to go home now. I hate hospitals."

"I know, Liv."

"And you still won't let me kiss you."

"I'll hold your hand. How's that?"

"Not good enough."

"You sound tired. Try getting some sleep."

"Must be the painkillers. Will you stay?"

"Always."


	37. No, Liv

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 37

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 37: No, Liv

"No, Olivia."

"Please, Alex?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"You just left the hospital."

"So?"

"You had a bullet removed from your shoulder and your thigh."

"What's your point, Alex?"

"You're also still on painkillers."

"Alex! Your point?"

"I'm not letting you drive."

"C'mon, Alex!"

"No, Liv."

"Please?"

"No. That pouty face doesn't work on me, Benson. And glaring at me won't work either."

"C'mon, Alex."

"No, Olivia, and if you keep up your sulking, I'll make sure you never get your way with me again."

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"Fine. Take me home then, Counselor."

"As you wish, Detective."


	38. DisclosingAlex

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 38

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 38: Disclosing-Alex

"Liz? Do you have a moment?"

"I have many, Alexandra. Would you like one?"

"If you wouldn't mind."

"What do you need?"

"Olivia Benson and I are seeing each other."

"Breathe, Cabot. This isn't new information."

"How long have you known?"

"How long have you been together?"

"Officially? Since December tenth."

"Then I've known since December eleventh."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"The same reason Don Cragen didn't. You two were happy and working proficiently. The relationship isn't causing any problems in your working lives so there was no real reason to say anything."

"What happens now that we've disclosed?"

"If I didn't trust the two of you to keep things quiet, I'd have to move you to a different unit. But that isn't the case here. Am I correct in assuming the two of you can keep things strictly professional while at work?"

"Yes."

"Then you're free to go."

"Thank you."

"Oh, and Alexandra?"

"Yes?"

"You and Detective Benson may want to consider wearing turtlenecks if you're going to insist on marking each other. While I'm sure the two of you quite enjoy the sentiment, there are those of us who find it inappropriate."

"I-"

"There's no need to blush, Alex. Just cover them better next time."

"Okay. Thank you, Liz."


	39. DisclosingOlivia

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 39

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 39: Disclosing-Olivia

"Hey, Cap? Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, Liv. C'mon in. Take a seat. How are you feeling?"

"Better. I'd really like to get back out on the streets instead of being stuck behind a desk, but the doc says I still have a couple of weeks."

"Don't rush yourself, Olivia. I don't want you out there until you're absolutely sure you can handle it."

"I know, Dad."

"What's on your mind, Liv?"

"Alex and I are dating."

"Okay."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"There's no long lecture or anything?"

"Would you like one?"

"Not really."

"Just make sure you keep it professional while you're at work, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Dad."

"And Liv?"

"Turtlenecks might do you and Alex some good."

"What? Oh. Right. Sure thing, Cap."


	40. Turtlenecks

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 40

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: We're approaching the end, everyone! But don't you fret, there is a sequel in the works. If "in the works" is also allowed to mean "in my mind." But anyways…Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 40: Turtlenecks

"How was your day, Lex?"

"Fine. Yours?"

"The same. I told Cragen about us."

"Oh yeah? What'd he say?"

"Not much, but he thinks we should buy some turtlenecks."

"Liz thinks the same thing."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, but I disagree."

"Why?"

"I don't like them."

"Why not?"

"They're too constricting."

"I think they make you look sexy."

"Liar."

"I am not."

"You are too."

"I think you look sexy in everything you wear, but…"

"But?"

"I think you're sexiest when you're not wearing anything at all."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Ow! What was that for?"

"Keep it in your pants, Benson. I have to work tonight."

"You always have to work."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is. You've had to work every night for the past twenty days."

"You've been counting?"

"Only because I'm frustrated."

"Then take care of it yourself."

"Alex."

"Olivia."

"Please?"

"You've only been out of the hospital for three weeks. And I have to work. Don't give me those lost puppy eyes, Liv. You know I hate that."

"Only because they always work on you. Please, Alex? I promise I'm not hurting anymore."

"No."

"I promise I won't come to you looking for a warrant that's impossible to get ever again."

"That's a lie and you know it."

"You're probably right, but it's the thought that counts. Please?"

"No, Liv, stop. You're going to make it so I have to wear a turtleneck tomorrow."

"So? It'll be worth it."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

"And you swear you aren't in pain?"

"I swear."

"You'll let me know if you are?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes, it's a yes."


	41. Time

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 41

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 41: Time

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Fine."

"Are you sure? You don't look fine."

"I am."

"Liar."

"What are you talking about, Elliot?"

"Liv, it's okay. All of us have gone through this."

"Gone through what?"

"The apprehension you feel about picking up your gun. It's okay to be afraid, Olivia."

"I'm not afraid."

"Then what do you call it?"

"I'm not afraid."

"Okay. I believe you."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Every time I close my eyes, I can hear it. Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel like I'm back in that apartment."

"Have you talked to Huang?"

"Yeah. Cragen made me go the day I came back."

You just need time, Liv. Have you talked to Alex?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want her to know."

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, Liv. You were shot. I'd say that's a life-altering event."

"I don't want her to think I'm weak."

"You are not weak, Olivia Benson. You couldn't do this job if you weren't strong."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

* * *

Author's Note: I just want to take a minute to talk about this chapter. In this chapter (and the next couple), we'll get to see the psychological aftermath of the shooting. I tried to capture the psychological aftermath as best as I could using only dialogue in this chapter and the next couple, but using only dialogue to do so is a lot harder than it sounds.


	42. Always

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 42

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I really hope I did this justice. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 42: Always

"Alex, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, Liv. Come on in. Do you need a warrant or something?"

"Or something."

"Okay. What is it?"

"I need to talk to you."

"About the nightmares?"

"Yeah. How'd you know about them?"

"Elliot told me."

"What?"

"He's worried about you, Olivia. We both are."

"I don't care! He shouldn't be telling you anything I tell him. If I wanted you to know, I'd have told you myself."

"Liv, talk to me. Why don't you want me to know?"

"I don't want you to think I'm weak."

"Olivia Serena Benson, I would never think that. You're the strongest person I've ever known. But there's something else bothering you; I can see it in your eyes. Tell me.

"I'm so afraid, Alex."

"Of what?"

"What if I'm not so lucky next time? What if the next bullet kills me?"

"Don't think like that, Liv."

"I'm sorry, Alex. I'm just so afraid."

"What can I do to help you?"

Will you stay with me tonight? I just…I don't want to be alone anymore, Alex."

"You aren't alone anymore, Liv. I'm here. I'll always be here."

"Always?"

"Always."

"I love you, Alex."

"I know, Olivia. I love you, too."

"Always."


	43. You're okay

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 43

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter is one of my favorite chapters. It was also inspired in part by the song "Vulnerable" by Secondhand Serenade.

* * *

Chapter 43: You're Okay

"No! No! Alex! No!"

"Liv! Liv, wake up. Hey, you're okay."

"Alex?"

"Yeah, it's me, Liv. You okay?"

"I'm…I'm fine. I'm okay."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm okay now. Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"I can practically hear you thinking. Are you sure you're okay?"

"No, I'm not."

"What's wrong? Talk to me, Olivia."

"Every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that apartment. Only in my nightmares, it's not me getting shot. It's you."

"Give me your hand. Do you feel my heartbeat?"

"Yes."

"I'm fine. You're fine. We're both okay. You're gonna make it through this, Liv."

"I know."

"Do you want me to hold you until you fall asleep?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"I love you, Alex."

"I love you too, Liv."


	44. Not Cleared

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 44

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

* * *

Chapter 44: Not Cleared

"Liv, my office."

"Sure thing. What's up, Cap?"

"Sit down, Olivia."

"Okay…"

"Liv, I received a call from your doctor today. You've been physically cleared for active duty."

"But?"

"You haven't been cleared psychologically."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't give you back your gun yet."

"Why not?"

"Your doctor has some concerns about your present mental state. He thinks the shooting may have caused more trauma than originally assessed."

"No, Cap, I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with my 'present mental state'."

"Liv."

"Cap."

"I know about the nightmares and the flashbacks, and I know about what happened at the shooting range."

"I'm fine. What happened at the shooting range was no big deal."

"That's not how Elliot tells it."

"He's over-exaggerating."

"Then tell me what really happened."

"Nothing happened."

"Olivia."

"Okay. Fine. I heard one of the guns and had a panic attack. It wasn't a big deal."

"How about you tell me what really happened."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know! Okay? I don't know what happened. One minute I was holding the gun and the next Alex was holding me, telling me everything was gonna be okay."

"Take the week."

"What? Why?"

"This shooting had more of an effect than you let on. Take the week; get yourself some help. Come back next Tuesday and we'll talk then."

"But-"

"If you take it willingly, nothing goes in your file."

"Okay. Fine. I'll be back next Tuesday."


	45. Movies

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 45

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: Yes, I realize this is very short, but I got caught up watching Criminal Minds all day and by the time I realized I hadn't written it, the VMAs were on. So this is what came of today. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 45: Movies

"Stay here with me today."

"You know I can't do that, Liv."

"C'mon, Alex. It'll be fun."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. We'll stay in bed and watch movies all day."

"And?"

"And?"

"What else?"

"I'll cook breakfast."

"Not good enough."

"I'll cook dinner too."

"Mmm…"

"And I'll give you a massage."

"Hmm…"

"I'll even let you pick the movies."

"I can't just take the day off."

"Call in sick."

"But then I won't have the day if I actually get sick."

"It'll be worth it."

"Promise?"

"Don't I always?"

"Yes. Fine, I'll go call Liz."

"Then get your bony little butt back in here, Cabot. I have big plans for this morning, Alex. Big plans."


	46. Valentine's Day

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 46

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: I am so sorry about the lack of updates over the weekend. I put off writing a three page paper until the very last day and then I had to scramble to get it done before it was due. That definitely won't be happening again. Anyways…enjoy this next update!

* * *

Chapter 46: Valentine's Day

"Wake up, sleepy head."

"No. Go away."

"C'mon, Alex. It's time to wake up."

"No, Olivia. Let me sleep. I was up half the night because of you."

"You weren't complaining last night."

"Shut up, Benson."

"Make me."

"Really, Liv? 'Make me'? Are you ten?"

"Funny, Cabot. Now, get up or you'll be late for work. Happy Valentine's Day, by the way."

"Your gift is in my desk at work."

"Really?"

"No."

"Can I have it now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you woke me up."

"You had to get up for work anyways."

"So?"

"Can I just have my present now, Alex?"

"You're so impatient."

"Please?"

"Fine. Here. Happy Valentine's Day."

"Oh, Alex. It's beautiful."

"Olivia, I know it's still too soon to be thinking about marriage, but I want you to know I'm in this for the long run. This ring symbolizes every promise I've ever made to you and every promise I will make to you. I love you, Olivia Benson, and I promise to spend my entire life proving that to you."

"Reciting my own words back to me, Counselor?"

"More or less. They were too perfect to only be used once."

"I love you, Alex Cabot."

"I love you, Olivia Benson."

"Is there something inscribed on the inside of this thing?"

"Yeah. It says 'always'."

"That's beautiful, Alex. And perfect because it matches our matching necklaces."

"Matching necklaces?"

"Don't laugh."

"I'm not. They're beautiful."

"Yours says 'forever' with my badge number on the back. And mine says 'always' and it'll have our wedding date inscribed on it when we pick one out."

"You're awfully confident that I'll marry you, Detective."

"Call it detective's intuition, Counselor."

"Who knew you were such a romantic?"

"Don't tell the guys, okay?"

"I won't. I rather like having this Olivia Benson all to myself."

"Good. Now, get up and get to work. We have dinner plans tonight that we can't miss."

"Fine. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Make me a coffee?"

"That's what I'm here for."

"I knew there was a reason I kept you."


	47. Cabot's Happy

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 47

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This chapter and chapter 48 will be very fluffy/corny because chapters 49 and 50 get deep. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 47: Cabot's Happy

"Benson."

"Cabot's too happy."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah."

"What are you talking about?"

"Cabot."

"What about her?"

"She came into the squadroom and she's happy."

"That's not a bad thing, Elliot."

"Liv, when have you ever seen her happy?"

"Every day."

"You're biased."

"Then why'd you ask me?"

"I don't know."

"Is there an actual reason why you called me?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"Whatever it is you did for her last night, please do it every night."

"Oh my God, Elliot. Goodbye."

* * *

Author's Note: In case you were confused (like I was at first), this is a phone conversation. Sometimes, it's hard to tell with only dialogue.


	48. Back to Work

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 48

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note: Remember how I said chapters 47 and 48 would be fluffly? I lied. Chapter 47 was fluffy, but 48 isn't. Sorry. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 48: Back to Work

"Nice of you to come back."

"I was only gone for a week, Elliot."

"A week's a long time when you're stuck with Munch and Fin."

"That's not true."

"You're my partner, Liv. I don't like working with anyone else."

"It was only a week, El."

"Are you any better?"

"A little. I haven't had very many nightmares lately, so that's nice."

"And the flashbacks?"

"I had one yesterday morning that came with a panic attack."

"What caused it?"

"A car backfired."

"How are you now?"

"Fine."

"Liv."

"El."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Olivia."

"El, I'm dealing with it. Okay? Don't worry."

"How are you dealing with it?"

"I'm just dealing with it."

"How?"

"Can't you just accept my answer and drop it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"What else is bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me."

"You're lying."

"Drop it, Elliot."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You're my best friend and my partner, Liv. If it's bothering you, it's bothering me. So tell me."

"You're a stubborn son of a bitch, ya know that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I haven't been sleeping."

"At all?"

"At all."

"When's the last time you slept?"

"Through the night? A few nights ago."

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Alex wasn't there. And every time I closed my eyes, I was back in that apartment."

"Have you thought about therapy?"

"Yeah. I was gonna talk to George."

"Don't. Go to something away from the department so nothing gets put in your file."

"Okay. I'll call around tonight."

"Okay."

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

* * *

Author's Note: I did my research for this chapter. Did you know (according to Scientific American) the longest has stayed awake for is 264 hours? Because I didn't.


	49. Dependent

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 49

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: Remember how I said I'd stop putting off papers until the last minute? I lied. Once again, I put off writing a three page paper until the very last minute. I won't say that won't happen again because you and I both know that it will. Anyways…enjoy this next update!

Author's Note 3: So, Alex and Olivia may be a little out of character in this chapter, but it takes place at three in the morning. We all know that no one, fictional or real, is in character at three in the morning.

* * *

Chapter 49: Dependent

"Cabot."

"Alex?"

"Liv?"

"Yeah."

"Is something wrong? It's three in the morning. Do we have a case?"

"No. No, it's nothing like that."

"Oh. Are you okay?"

"No."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep."

"Why not? Liv, talk to me."

"I miss you."

"You saw me this morning."

"I can't sleep without you anymore, Alex."

"Liv, what-"

"I can't sleep if you're not here, Alex. I need you next to me to sleep."

"Liv-"

"Can I come over?"

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Of course."

"Thanks, Alex. I'll see you soon."

"Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."


	50. June 10, 2002

Title: Heartbeats Chapter 50

Author's Note: For disclaimer, see chapter one.

Author's Note 2: This is the last chapter of Book One, guys! Thanks to everyone who read, commented, favorite, and followed this story. It wouldn't have been possible without all of you. I love you guys (and girls and everyone really) so much! Also, the first chapter of Book 2 will be up on Wednesday, so keep an eye out for that.

Author's Note 3: Oh! Before I forget, this chapter would've been up hours ago, but I have my own cubicle (finally) and I was busy moving into it.

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 50: June 10, 2002

"Liv! C'mon, Liv. Wake up."

"No, Alex. Go away."

"Now who's being impossible to wake up?"

"I have today off. Why are you waking me up so early?"

"Today's our six-month anniversary."

"Already?"

"Yeah."

"Are you working today?"

"No."

"Then why are you awake?"

"It's almost ten."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"Oh. Why'd you let me sleep so late?"

"It's a double-edged sword with you, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, Alex. Happy six-month anniversary."

"I have something special planned for tonight."

"Really?"

"No."

"I do."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"I want you to move in with me."

* * *

Author's Note: Aha! A cliffhanger! Not really. So! That was the last chapter for Book 1, everyone! Thank you all for a great 50 chapters. If you're still interested in this story, let me know, and I'll see you in about 15 to 20 hours for the beginning of Book 2.


	51. Author's Note

Author's Note

Just a quick note to say thank you again to everyone who read, reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. It's been a fantastic fifty chapters, and I hope to see you all for Book 2!

Speaking of Book 2, chapter 1 is up already and two will be up very soon. So keep a look out for that.

xo

Danii


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